Musing: Leaking Roofs, Early Flights, & Piss Poor Metabolism

There are few things worse than the incessant yet mercurial drop drop dropdropdrops of rain that manage to weave a wet path from the roof into the ceiling and then into the metal pot you've placed beneath the hole in hopes of collecting them. Maybe it's Morse code. No, that's so 20th century. I swear, each drop is like a bullet working its way closer and closer into my brain.

In short, I hate waking up early. Especially when I can't sleep. It's 4 am. My thoughts are as disjointed and staccato as the leak in my roof. That was recently patched, by the way. Great job, Jim.

Leaving for Chicago this morning, and I feel puffy and paunchy. Maybe it was the black beans. If that's the case, I'd love to grow a large enough stalk so I can climb up to the storm clouds and push them away from the roof of my house. Unfortunately, the bloating of my stomach is probably salt and water retention, and not a mythical beanstalk. Actually, I didn't eat dinner yesterday. What's going on, body? Is my metabolism already slowing to the pace of molasses going uphill in the month of January? Eventually freezing and breaking off, leaving me perpetually porky? Thanks to my beaded pillows, my face resembles a porcelain putty gone awry. My mother wakes in curlers and I wake in smeared mascara and a grimace.

Whydidn'tyoucomeandsaygoodmorning, she shrieks. Each syllable pecks and claws at my slightly bloodshot eyes until my irises dissolve and I'm stuck with light brown goop throughout my entire eyes. Just kidding, but that would be a great surreal painting. No, Mom, I don't live on a farm, so please stop being a rooster. The paper cut on my thumb is red and throbbing at the same speed as my leaking roof. Thanks, calm and oh so refreshing drops of renewal. Thanks for hammering a liquid nail into my head so I will have a piercing and pulsating headache all fucking day. No clarity, just clanging. As always. Morning, world! It's your bloated sunbeam, Savannah!

No, I am not a morning person. I'm throwing on a shirt. The hair is going up today. Limiting salt intake. And remember, if you're hungry, something is going right.

I'll probably edit this later.