Commentary: FDA Approved Suicide

Not to beat a dead horse, but Michael Jackson didn't die by smoking a fat and juicy blunt. Actually, no one dies by doing that. People die (and by "people" I mean approximately 200,000 Americans annually) by abusing prescription drugs. If there is anything to learn from MJ's death--besides the traumatic effects of child abuse, the perils of plastic surgery, and that calling a theme park "home" isn't exactly financially prudent, it's this: we are addicts.

Taking a cue from Jackson himself, it is most assuredly time to look at ourselves in the mirror. We are a nation of over-medicated and overly indulgent individuals. No, you don't have a headache because you're dehydrated, it's because you have a migraine--maybe something worse. Let's get you some Advil, sweetie. You have a bad day, so you hit the Prozac, not the park. Children who don't focus in class aren't just eating too much sugary shit in the morning, they have ADD. Or maybe they're stuck in the genital stage of development--they need to see a shrink. Immediately. Before they turn into some kind of serial killer, or something.

But oh no, what are you going to give your little Johnny on that fateful day when he comes home smelling like weed? Isn't there some pill for that, to, you know, make him stop doing that, Doctor? Does he smoke it because he has some kind of oral fixation, sir? Should I up his visits to his psychotherapist?


Personally, I don't generally condone drug use at all. A drug is a drug. Granted, I will take an aspirin if my headache doesn't go away, but only after I've had water, after I've taken a nap, and after I've stretched and breathed deeply. Please, spare me the scientology and/or homeopathic associations (I think both are bona fide quacks), but I find that the mind itself can act as a better remedy than acetaminophen. As for marijuana, I don't care one way or the other about the drug itself; it's not the most efficacious way for me to alleviate stress, and generally speaking, I don't enjoy the feeling of internal burning. But facts are facts. It's not habit forming, and a whopping zero people have died from complications whilst smoking it. I understand that it is generally recognized as a "gateway drug," however one hit is most assuredly not going to kill you, let alone leave you passed out on the tiles of the bathroom floor with crusty puke remnants on the collar of your shirt. If at all, that would occur soon after eating the umpteenth White Castle slider that generally follows the act of getting high.

So, yes, I know several people who have expanded their midsections due to smoking weed, but none who have died, none who have wasted away to nothingness, both financially and physically, thanks to an expensive and deadly habit. Why is something that invariably expands waistbands illegal, but something that kills and destroys lives legal and highly attainable?

Drug Lobbyists. Pharmaceutical companies spend over $20 billion promoting their drugs to hundreds of thousands of physicians each year, in hopes of having their product happily placed in the medicine cabinets of pill popping proletarians across the nation. And it works. Unfortunately, the marijuana industry in the United States is not nearly as highfalutin, their equivalent of a lobbyist is generally a twentysomething male looking to make some money on the side. There are no special interests, and it goes without saying that there is no political leverage with weed.

Historically speaking, the act of placing weed in a veritable Pandora's Box began long ago to cease the influx and influence of, you guessed it: immigrants and minorities. When coming to the grand ole US of A, many Mexicans brought cannibis with them. And many black jazz musicians, upon moving to the cities in the mass urban movement that occured early in the 20th century, used marijuana regularly as well. And, in hopes of slowing the spinning of America's proverbial melting pot (no pun intended), Harry Anslinger, head of the Bureau of Narcotics, capitalized on the motif of race and fear by releasing the following statements about weed:

"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."

"Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men."

"Marijuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing."


So what do we have now, just shy of 100 years following these statements? No, we're not communists, and we sure aren't pacifists. A white girl can listen to Clive Davis and smoke a blunt, with little to no change in her oxytocin levels. None of Anslinger's predictions came true. But now, we get our kicks and brainwashing from things that are perfectly legal. Oh, and we have a booming and illegal drug industry that is spreading faster than wildfire.

Sure, there were a lot of eerie things about Michael Jackson. The skin, the face, the penchant for prepubescent boys. But perhaps the eeriest facet to his being was that this man, this icon, heralded by many as the king of pop, pained and eventually killed himself in hopes of relieving it. And it was all FDA approved.